April 2002
Home 4/1/2002 AAD 31
Got a
lot of work done today. More and more it is becoming apparent that I need to
strike back out on my own. So I am formulating this thought in my head, maybe
not very soon, but sometime in the near future, I will be living somewhere
else. Possibilities include:
Seattle
Houston
Atlanta
Virginia
North Carolina
Where I wind
up, who knows? I can live anywhere I want!
Home 4/2/2002 AAD 32
Busy day today. I got my Soloette today. It also came with a Korg ToneWorks
PX3 Pandora Personal Multi Effect Processor. So now I can make loud noises
while on the road. Yee ha. Thanks again to BradB who let me play his while
trying to decide if I wanted this. It comes with a cool case. I have
everything I need to be the quintessential Crafty on the road (except chops,
as I mentioned to a friend).
 
Ripped
through the Third Relation exercise at 70, so so tone quality. That Ovation
needs fixin' bad! VA circle is Sunday, then that puppy goes to the shop.
Feeling kind
of down, missing my friends, lonely, bored. Not much to do.
Home 4/3/2002 AAD 33
Busy work day, lots of client problems. Tried to do a data import for the
second day in a row, lousy documentation, passwords that don't work, waste of
my time. Not happy. The North Dakota Client goes back to support tomorrow.
NST sessions
in CO, GA, NJ what's a girl to do? Go to all of them, of course. $$$ who
cares? I have no other life.
Home 4/4/2002 AAD 34
Happy Birthday, Habibi. I wish things were better for you.
SLOOOOOOWWWWW
day today. I hate it when things don't work as advertised. I hate it when
people don't listen to me. But you know what? I'm not reacting very much to
these things, at least not like I used to. And that's a good thing.
My friend
who has Lyme disease is fighting a legal battle with some insurance company
that disputes that she has Lyme disease. I wrote a letter to attest to the
appearance of the alleged tick bite. For chrissake, it was there.
Home 4/5/2002 AAD 35
Oh boy, why do I do these things to myself?
4/7 -
Richmond
4/13-4/14 - Possibly NJ at Casa Shim
4/18-4/20? - Possibly Nashville
4/26-4/28 - Houston
4/28-5/2 - Kansas City
5/2-5/5 - Houston
I will get
to see CGT in Houston, and also join the Gulf Coast Guitar Circle in some
circling. I am going to attend both the CGT shows and Dave Matthews with my
beloved friend and ex, Kirk. Yayyy. I don't make enemies. There is only one
person in this world I never want to see again, and he knows who he is (and
probably, so does everyone else). Also get to see Mom and Dad. Yayyy!
In Kansas
City, I am attending a training event for all of the Radiology install
people. Cheap company is doubling us up randomly. Whoever shares a room with
me is going to get an education. Sitting in the morning, guitar in the
evening.
21:49
AAD day off. Made loud noise with guitar and Pandora. Bought hanging stand
for three guitars, new strap for Soloette, replacement .22 strings. Shopped
for a new PDA.
Home 4/6/2002 AAD 36
One of my "older" friends has pointed out to me that
"PDA" to him means "Public Display of Affection" and
suggests a generation gap. Actually, I think the same thing whenever I see
this acronym. Truth is though, while I am nominally shopping for a Personal
Digital Assistant, I could really use a little PDA right now.
Always amused
by little links from Evan's diary... here's a fun one...
Hmmm. These
results probably won't get me much PDA.
Wow. In
another survey on that same site, only 21.6% of the respondants know who
Christa McAuliffe was. However, 97% know who Marilyn Manson is. I wonder if
my parents know who Marilyn Manson is. And furthermore, do I really WANT them
to know this?
$60 this
week to Seattle Circle, one missed practice session. I played for a long time
Thursday, but I didn't practice. And so I paid for that privilege.
This just
in:
----- Original Message -----
From: Glenn E. and Roselyn J. Prow
To: Sandra J Prow
Sent: Saturday, April 06, 2002 11:32 PM
Subject: hard rock
Marilyn Manson was a stupid looking person
that had a hard rock band. Painted his eyes black and looked he came from
hell. And I don't know what he is doing now. I'm glad that you will be coming
to Houston. We miss you!!!
Love, Mom
Now, I'd really worry if she'd said "he did a bad cover of a
Eurythmics song." That would scare me. Mom hates Aerosmith too. But she
likes the Trio, of course. And Robert too.
Knowing my
Mom, she looked him up. She's great at doing web searches. Next thing you
know, she'll have his entire genealogy mapped out, with a theory on why he is
the way he is, however that is.
Home-->Richmond 4/7/2002 AAD 37
Off to Richmond for the inaugural meeting of the Virginia Guitar Circle. I'm
going to lobby hard to call it the Atlantic Guitar Circle or something else,
so that the non-Virginians feel like they are welcome.
01:08
Ok so
technically it's the 8th and I should be in bed, but I did want to update
about what we did today. We circulated. We improvised. We played an African
song presented by Kim C. Pat and Sandra B-C sang a lovely song. We had cake
and candles for the birthdays of Sandra B-C and the Virginia Guitar Circle!
Home 4/8/2002 AAD 38
Slept late, lazy day. Played guitar much of the day, chatted with clients.
Good sitting. Helped Steve set up AOL stuff. Got Kathy on ICQ. Contacted a
luthier about the Ovation, it goes bye bye tomorrow.
Home 4/9/2002 AAD 39
Another slow day. I did visit the luthier. The crack is a finish crack, he
will fix that. The truss rod needs adjusting for the buzz. He adjusted the
machine heads. I took the dog with me. She behaved oddly.
Home 4/10/2002 AAD 40
My new Boomerang arrived today. I immediatly generated a stacked loop which
sounded really cool. I need to get this thing hooked up to Mark's 4-track
minidisk recorder. I got this thing because Steve said he thought it'd be
cool if I did some experimenting with voice loops. I agreed so now the next
step is to find Mark's good vocal microphone. (Mark cues round dancing so he
has a variety of audiothings).
Niggling
depression... I think I'm lonely. Mark and Pam have gone to Houston to attend
to some pressing health issues with her mother. I don't have any friends here
in the area. I have been talking to KathyO and SarahM and SteveJ and KirkO
online in the evenings, but what I really need is to get off my ass.
Still trying
to decide if I can go to Philadelphia and NYC to see the trio. I want very
much to see everyone but I would have to drive home on Monday. I could work
from Shim's house and drive home Monday night, I suppose.
Spent the
morning talking Steve through a myriad of AOL/XP related problems. In my
mind, XP is so dumbed down it is unusable. You can show people pretty tinker
toy pictures but if they don't make any sense, it just creates confusion.
Throw AOL in the mix and it gets even worse. Dammit, when I send someone
three 50k files, I do not want them ZIPPED. He can handle the three files on
their own, trust me. I hate AOL. I hate Microsoft. I need to get a new
handheld computer (a PDA) and I am leaning toward Palm OS. The new Sony
that's coming out next month looks way cool, as much as I dispise Sony.
Steve's
advice regarding the depression: "assume the virtue". In other
words, I think he means act like I'm not depressed and pretty soon I won't
be. Steve is a great human being. (I know that's a Guitar Craft aphorism but
he always comes up with the right one at the right time)
Home 4/11/2002 AAD 41
Effectively the last day of AAD sitting and practice, but hopefully no
difference will be noted. Tomorrow's my day off. Made the decision to go to
NJ and NYC this weekend, time with Shim and K and SM and RM and and and
everyone else is just too much to pass up. I may be in trouble on Monday.
J the
formerly invisible boss appears to have a programming project for me. I'm
very curious.
I love to
loop. That's all I have to say about that now, I want to make some
recordings.
Home 4/12/2002 AAD42
AAD is at an end, or almost. Tomorrow before I leave for Casa Shim, I'll have
my last AAD sitting. As with many, this is just a completion. A new
beginning. During this period, I believe I achieved my aim. My playing is
exponentially better than it was 42 days ago. 42 days ago I didn't even think
I would be able to master Asturias even in this next year. Then, suddenly, it
was possible. And then, it found me. So it's a gift, but I gave it to myself,
I opened my mind to possibility. And there it is. While I still doubt myself,
I am different. I have the confidence to sit down this weekend with my
Boomerang and Soloette and perform One of a Thousand Regrets for my friends,
solo. For those who have been playing guitar for 20 years, maybe not a big
feat, but for me, a huge leap. I know my mentors understand this well and
again as every morning I thank them for their encouragement.
A gigantic
wrench in the travel works- J the formerly invisiboss now wants me to do a
fun project. I have to go to Kansas City:
4/17-19 RDU-Nashville-RDU
4/21-25 RDU-Kansas City-RDU
4/26-4/28 RDU-Houston
4/29-5/2 Hou-Kansas City - Hou
5/3-5/5 Hou-RDU
My dear
friend and mentor Rob wonders if the Circles are without purpose. There is a
necessity, people are forming Circles of themselves, single points here and
there. It is our touchstone. When we meet as a Circle, we are reminding
ourselves why we are here. We are kindling the hope that someday, all of us
will gather together. It may never happen. But when we meet in a Circle, we
represent all of us. We Circulate, it is a symbol of our relationship, much
like a Christian recieves communion. We receive Music from our Brothers and
Sisters. And we refresh tactile memory of that Music so that when we are back
alone in our stressful and noisy world, we may recall it at will. Or at least
that is my hope.
A new IP has
shown up in my logs, and it is intriguing. Someone in Israel is reading my
diary daily. I am wondering if it is the only Israeli I know, Asher. Last I
heard from Asher, he was in the Israeli Army. I think about him often these
days. I hope beyond all hope that he is all right.
My horoscope
for the day:
The present planetary alignment could leave
you feeling as though something quite major is about to happen. Yet it only
will do so if you make the effort. You know that there is an issue that now
needs to be sorted out as far as your love life is concerned, in order for
you to be able to move on and move into new relationships. Don't avoid
discussing what you feel with the person closest to you. Get to it!
Oh if I only
had the guts.
Then again,
and on many levels, point taken, Bubba. Thanks.
Haddon Heights, NJ 4/14/2002
Well, here I am at Casa Shim. Uneventful 6.5 hour drive here. The Trio were
amazing, the sound was good and the house was rockin'. Rober from L1 was
there, it was very good to see him and spend a little time with him. It was a
wonderful surprise. Also SteveR was there, always enjoy talking to him.
SteveJ on my
mind too with his big gig, I would rather have been there honestly, if
nothing more than to see him play three different types of guitars in one
night (Requinto, Classical, and Electronic).
Tonight (now
don't panic, Mom) I am driving into NYC to see two shows at the bottom line
and hang out with fellow Crapettes Sarah and Kathy along with RickB, KevinP
and oh who knows who else? I am staying overnight at Kathy's, we are having a
Crapettes slumber party and I am going to perform One of a Thousand Regrets
for them, hopefully we will also have a Circulation and play together. I love
these guys, they are pure souls.
It is great
to spend time with Shim, I have missed him so much.
Brooklyn, NY--->Home 4/15/2002
Tax day. Yee ha.
Left
Brooklyn at 9am with excellent directions from Kathy, got on the
Brooklyn-Queens expressway and right onto the NJ turnpike, no problem. Took
me 8.5 hours including potty, gas and meal stops. Got into NYC (east
village)on Sunday just fine too. This is a big scary thing for me, being from
Houston and now Raleigh I am not accustomed to driving on crowded city
streets with taxicabs all over the place and people milling about, cops
directing traffic. It was an adventure. I am also not used to riding trains
so it was very exciting taking one into Philly.
The Trio
were amazing at the Bottom Line, they honored themselves and Music with their
performance. Someone sprinkled magic guitar fairy dust on Paul, his playing
is breathtaking to watch. They played Blockhead for the Blockheads, and we
started yelling for Blast O' Crap, which was delivered. Paul's ebow crapped
out literally at the start of Punta Patri, it sounded like farting. Poor Paul
kept with it, tried to make a decent loop but it got worse. He says the ebow
got dropped earlier and so it was messed up. So Bert told us we got the Blast
O' Crap we were hollering for.
The
Blockheads renamed the Flower Kings "Flower Tap" and that's all
that I really can say about them except that grown men really shouldn't
oughtta wear silver spandex pants.
At the end
of the second show, they could only do one encore and gave the audience a
choice of Bohemian Rhapsody or Eve. We shouted the FK fans down and got to
hear Eve. Each time they have played this, I notice Paul closes his eyes in
the middle of the piece. Brings tears to my eyes. It's so beautiful.
Spent Sunday
night in Red Hook which is a formerly run down area of Brooklyn. Kathy and
Alice have a very nice home there and it was lovely. It was great to see
Sarah, wish we could have spent more time together.
Home 4/16/2002
Man. What a day. Met John from Yahoo, a prog fan like me! Yayyy!! Had a nice
time at B&N. Talked to Jeff Duke of Krimson News, it looks like I am
signed up to be, well, a whatever. This means that my diary will be moving
over there but mirrored on this site (he's got a better diary engine). Yayyy.
Sat down
with Dave today and had an excellent but too short session. We ran through
Asturias, bits of Third Relation, bits of Eye of the Needle, and all of One
of a Thousand Regrets. He was pretty surprised by my progress, and I felt
really good to be finally able to contribute!
Played One
of a Thousand Regrets for Mark and Pam, it went well, Pam had tears but I
don't know if it was from the music or some situations she is upset about.
Good anyway, I love my Boomerang.
Steve turned
me onto a group called Art Zoyd and I am hooked. Brain food. I'm going to
infect Kirk with it and see what happens to him.
Home-->Nashville, TN 4/17/2002
I stand corrected, Dave states that he is "amazed, not surprised."
Still, it makes me feel (even better). I am happy to be able to play songs,
keep rhythm, even improvise a little. Someone once told me that you can sure
tell who practices regularly with a metronome and now I understand that.
I wonder
whether my Parents will read my diary here or on Krimson News. I seriously
doubt that they give a rat's ass what King Crimson is up to!
I need to
leave here at 4:30 for a 6:40 flight to Nashville. Am I packed? No. Am I even
dressed? Hell no.
15:50
Maybe it is because I knew this trip would get cancelled. YAYYYYY
Home 4/18/2002
What I want:
What I need (and bought):
 
Oh stop laughing, Curt.
My aged
computer, named MooCow, is dying. It's got a slow processor. This is its
third motherboard. It has three hard disks. It's limping. It's time.
20:56
I am becoming more and more distracted and lazy, I wonder why? I need to get
out. I am so tired all the time, I don't know why. This has come on suddenly.
So here I sit.
I bought the
new computer so that I can use it for recording. I am thinking that I will
move my computer desk out to the music area where I practice. This will give
me a nice view outside.
Jeff has put
Curt and SteveJ in rotation on KNR. I am so happy to see
this. I need to rip Fernando's album so we can put something up there of his,
having obtained permission.
Home 4/19/2002
8:00am
My Brother is mowing the lawn outside my bedroom window. I'm gonna strangle
him.
11:30
I love it when decisions get made for me. Now the only question is, where
shall I move? Time to get out the ol' pros and cons. I'll take bids from those in the potential impact
areas (Seattle, Virginia, Atlanta, Houston, Philadelphia, ...?) to keep me
from moving there.
15:30
Ok, here's
the deal, now that Mom and Dad know. My Brother lost his job last month in a
layoff. My Sister in law's family needs some help, her mother and grandmother
live together and need her. They have made the decision to move back to
Houston. Since I rent space in the basement here, I am kind of stuck. Do I go
back to Houston? There are things to draw me there, my parents, Kirk, the GC
circle, my pals from NASA. But I really don't like Houston very much.
Then there's
Seattle. Seattle has become the defacto home of Guitar Craft. Very very cool
things are going on there. Roving guitar circles playing where Music is
needed. Performance projects. Guitar Craft instruction. A static place where
guitaring is almost always happening in one form or another. Great mentors in
huge abundance.
The
downside: I don't know anyone there, really. I sort of know Curt Golden, and
he would become my instructor, as would Frank Sheldon my Alexander teacher
(those are pros, not cons). I sort of know Steve Ball and Travis Metcalf and
maybe a couple of others, but only peripherally. Seattle looks to be quite
proud of its real estate.
Then there's
the other spots, let's look at them.
Virginia:
Ok. Well Virginia has a few things going for it and a couple of things not
going for it. Going for it- the new Virginia Circle which has a wealth of
talent and looks to be my cup of tea, especially with the singing. Also,
Steve Jolemore, with whom I have made startling progress. He is also a close
friend and I would miss him if I left. Also, it is a tiny bit closer to my
other friends who live in PA, NJ and NYC.
Not going
for it: I don't know a whole lot of people there. I don't know the area. No
really big airports (not that RDU is a help.) It's a big state. Where do I
even start looking?
NYC/Philadelphia:
Well, I've
gotten invitations from two different people near Philly to come and live
with them. I will not discuss the pros and cons of either of these
situations. Both exist. Aside from that, both of those places are quite
expensive. I hate the Philadelphia airport with a purple passion. NYC scares
me. Too many people. But man, there's lots to do there! It would be a
different way of life for me.
Atlanta:
Again, a
great circle to join. I know lots of people. Growing area. Big airport.
Downside:
It's the south. It's not a particularly pretty place to live, and it's not
particularly exciting other than the circle.
Other
unknowns that have been mentioned or under consideration:
Chicago/Milwaukee
Kansas City (the headquarters of my company, if I really feel like moving
ahead there)
Austin- now there's some music happening there!
Colorado somewhere
Portland
I need
input! HELP! What an opportunity. What a decision. I make enough money that I
can live just about anywhere. I have a job that I can do from just about
anywhere. All I need to do is decide where that will be.
OK here's your chance. Submit Your Vote on where I should live! One city
please, write-ins allowed!
00:12
Well Houston
is currently in the lead, but that's only because the only visitors I have do
the site since posting the survey are my parents, Kirk, and a guy from
Houston that I used to date (who is considering Craftiness as a way of life-
oh man wait till he sees the Trio next week). One of my CO buddies put in a
bid for a few places with emphasis on CO, and Curt, of course, declined to
comment, presumably because he knows his opinion carries a LOT of weight with
me and he doesn't want to be held responsible if I go to Seattle and
completely lose it.
Home 4/20/2002
09:20
Houston's still in the lead, with the Tim and Tamy show weighing in (hmm
maybe I should have said ONE VOTE PER HOUSEHOLD). Also, a write in for San
Diego, a triple vote for NYC, Atlanta and Chicago, a vote to stay here from a
new friend.
I should
mention that the winner will not necessarily be the place that I move, but I
want to be reminded that I have friends all over and I will probably be fine
anywhere I go. I do want to know, though, where people would think I'd do
best. Where would you live if you could live anywhere?
Kansas City, MO 4/22/2002
22:18
I’m going to try editing this thing in Word and see how it goes. I may be sorry.
I have determined what is causing my problem
with moving. You will notice
that I put a box in there for bids to keep me out of the area and perhaps you
are wondering why I did that, is my self esteem that low? The quick answer is, yes. It is.
What I am afraid of is that most of these
places have people that I know, but I don’t feel comfortable asking for
help. This is a problem because
I do still occasionally get episodes of serious depression. This is part of the reason I moved in
with Mark and Pam. Now they are
going back to Houston, and there is still too much there that would be
detrimental to my health.
So I’m kind of stuck. If I get out somewhere, say Seattle,
who’s going to make sure that I haven’t cratered? In Seattle, the likelihood of that happening is larger. I can’t ask these people to take care
of me. The only people I can
even hope to begin to ask that of is Mark and Pam, and Kirk. But they are all in Houston.
So that’s it.
I’m scared to be on my own again. Age 40 and I can’t live by myself. How depressing.
Kansas City, MO 4/23/2002
21:44
Well, editing in Word seems to work out ok.
Long conversation with a very wise and
enlightened person last night who reminded me once again to assume the
virtue. I am very fortunate to
have this person in my life.
I am doing well out here in KC, programming
something in a language I don’t know, for a product I don’t know. I am working with the engineering
group. The goal was that I would
learn to program the requisitions, and that perhaps I could do four simple
ones this week. I’ve done 3, and
nearly done with a fourth complex one.
It’s kind of fun, I wouldn’t mind doing this all the time.
Trying to come up with a date to visit
Seattle. Probably will sit in on
the next Beginners’ Circle or perhaps Introductory Circle. Virginia Circle meets the 12th. I’ll be in Colorado the next
week. I’m sitting in with the
Gulf Coast guys Sunday. I am
interviewing Circles ha ha.
Kansas City, MO 4/24/2002
23:56
Programming is still going well, they want me to stay later tomorrow to finish
some work. So now I will get
back to Raleigh about 1pm Friday, and have to leave for the flight to Houston
at about 4pm. Not good. Tried to get a later flight out, but
no dice. So I am kind of stuck.
This could become a full time gig, according
to my boss. Interesting. We’ll see.
No decision on the moving front yet. Must visit Seattle. NYC is moving to the front of my mind
for some reason. We shall see.
Kansas City, MO 4/25/2002
23:41
Newest travel plans… after $100 change fee to
Continental, I am now going straight to Houston tomorrow. I turned my ticket in for a trip to
Colorado Springs. Formulating
plans to go to Seattle over Memorial day. Weather reports from Seattle continue to be tauntingly
tempting. Continued long
conversations with enlightened man reveal more insights into life in
general. Personal visit from the
boss’s boss’s boss’s boss telling me he heard I’m doing a great job and
wondering how I like it.
Intriguing.
Kansas City, MO 4/29/2002
23:10
Well, this is gonna be quick. Too much to tell! Two great shows by the guys in
Houston on Saturday. Wonderful
Circle on Sunday at Tim and Tamy’s.
We all worked together so well, people of different abilities yet
somehow relishing each others’ individual contributions. This is how a circle is supposed to
work, expanding and contracting as we see fit. Such a sense of community with these people, it is why I am
with Guitar Craft.
Astronaut Steve, my long lost friend who’s
been in Moscow training for a station assignment, showed up for the CGT
show. He seemed genuinely happy
to see me, he kept hugging me and telling me how much he was hoping he’d see
me at the show, even though I had moved out of state. He is going up on
station in January and he is bringing the Trio with him, well, their music
anyway. I think this is a good
opportunity for exposure so I will probably send him as much Crafty music as
I can, both Steves (Ball and Jolemore), maybe some Curt, SGC, etc. There is a Soloette on the space
station now!
Non-stressful time spent with the parental
units, with Kirk. Recorded One of
a Thousand Regrets in time for Curt’s birthday, which was a goal that I
thought I’d miss. Patched the ‘rang
into mom and dad’s computer, haphazardly, so the sound quality wasn’t good. Still, I was very happy with the
outcome. I sent a copy to SteveJ
who thought I played with a lot of “soul”. I think Curt liked it too, I hope it makes him feel good
that he is such a fantastic mentor and does such great things.
Paul, Bert, and Hideyo are great human
beings. There are not many
performers of their caliber that treat their fans with such love and
respect. They have done some
pretty amazing things lately for a number of people.
Mom and Dad really enjoyed the show, Dad
especially liked Hideyo’s playing.
Mom liked Dancing Anne a lot and wished that the guys would say who
wrote what! I explained that
many of their pieces are collaborations between the three of them. I am glad they got to come and see
the guys play. Several of my
co-workers also came.
Upcoming travel:
4/29-5/3 KC
5/3-5/5
Houston
5/12 Richmond
5/16-5/20 Colorado Springs
5/23-5/28 Seattle
5/29-5/31 KC
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