Got some calls this weekend related to stuff our systems people were doing, so no big deal. Working on a difficult issue with no real way to determine how the problem is happening.

Last practice session. I think I drive myself too hard. Last night's "break point" was playing Cmaj up and down, at 40bpm, without a mistake. This means I would not let myself rest until I did this. Tonight I upped the ante to 40bpm. Took a long time but I did it. Then I endeavoured to play it well, slower. That took a while. I also did some work at 80 and 90 bpm. I am having trouble at higher speeds, my right elbow is tense and so my movement is restricted. The tenser it gets, the more strings I miss. This tension causes my hand to rotate outward.

An interesting email discussion with Curt about hidden aims and recognizing them in one's self (but not accepting them). I think that finding one's hidden aims, looking at them, and then letting go of them is essential for GC. At least it is for me. Find the hidden aims, realizing their destructive power. Yeah.

Interesting happenings in GC. Talked to Steve about it yesterday, he was intrigued. I would really like to work with Steve in a GC setting, although our lessons have their own sort of magic.

An hour on the treadmill. If I cannot work my hands, I need to work my body. I think so, anyway.

So much to finish this week. So much to do. It is very cold here and I did not bring a coat.

The ranch for the L1 is indeed the one I thought it might be. Looks like bunk beds. I think I shall bring another pillow. While I am all for going with what is presented me, I am also of the realization that I have a hunk of metal and bone from two different dead people holding my neck together, and so I must make allowances.

Part of me wants to be afraid about L1. I do not know what there is to be afraid of. Nobody is going to hurt me. Perhaps someone will make fun of me. But I will live through it and come out better in many ways.

Interesting reading of Someone's Sasso L1 diary. This person possesses precisely the attitude that made me not want to attend NJ Beginners' Circle anymore. Perhaps I should reread. But I think perhaps this is one Seattle person I'd rather not meet. I am fortunate that I am going into this thing hopefully with the firm knowledge that I have nothing to prove and am not better than anyone else there in any way whatsoever. What is unique about that situation is that it doesn't intimidate me, in fact, it is liberating. I also have nothing to hide (ok well I have a little something to hide but it's better off that way at the moment, trust me). I do not play guitar well or arguably, at all. I learn new guitar skills slowly (but not as slowly as before!). I have no repertoire to show off to anyone, no chops to dazzle Robert or Curt or the others with. I'm not particularly interesting to look at, and I don't have much to say (Curt would beg to differ here, I think, and so would Paul and Bert. And Nancy V. Oh and Robert too. And Tim. hmmm). Rephrase. I don't have much of SUBSTANCE to say.

After having written this about the person who wrote the diary, I need to realize that perhaps this person is also a necessary part of Guitar Craft, dealing with those who may seem to be a bit intolerant. Steve has told me on several occasions not to take anything personally. I need to have that tattooed somewhere I can see it several times a day. How did Steve get to understand me so well, or maybe we are just a lot alike and he is giving me the benefit of his own GC experience.

Things are going much better here. Radiologists are happier. I am getting more rest. They will be fine. And now it is time for me to say something I don't like to say: I was wrong. Perhaps this is the right product for this customer. So there.

Only 20 minutes on the treadmill. The good one was taken and the tv wasn't on and the music sucked waah waah waah. The cute guy in the room next door stopped me in the hallway and asked if that was me practicing guitar. OOps. I said yes. He said I sounded good. hmmm I guess so if you like scales up and down punctuated by the occasional DAMMIT.

When I tell people that I am not practicing this week, and why, they ask "how are they gonna know?" This floors me. My response is "I will." It's the same with the not borrowing money for the course thing. Oh well.

Ralph is going to pick me up in Goleta. I feel like I am imposing on these kind people. I hope they can find some way for me to be useful.

I am glad I am not on a prop job, and it appears that I have been upgraded even though my Elite status has expired. I feel like I am being abused if I am not in first class. What a spoiled brat I am. Wrists are still a bit sore, it certainly will help when I give them a rest for a couple of days. I am looking forward to the trip to LA, actually. It will also be good to meet everyone that I haven't met, and see everyone I haven't seen in a while. I have been keeping up a running conversation with SarahM who is a beginner like me. She has had some music training so perhaps some of this won't be so foreign. She seems to have the same call from Music that I do, it appears to be bugging us in the same way, speaking in the same voice. Sarah sings and so does DebraK. Maybe Womens' Voice Craft is in order some day.

Made it through this week with my two constant musical companions, Steve and Steve. It is very hard for me, in the case of these two Steves especially, to separate the musician from the music. I know, I think I know anyway, these guys' hearts and I hear them through their music. It is this knowledge that makes me feel better, maybe it is a reminder of the conversations I have had with these Steves that have been theraputic for me. No matter where I go or what I am doing, I know if things are bad I can pop in Greenthumb or The Great Wish and feel better. Forgetting either of those would feel like forgetting my medicine. It's too bad this music is not more widespread, but I suppose that is the ultimate evil in the current state of the music industry, most people only get to hear what It wants them to hear.

Others I don't travel without:
At least one CGT album
At least one KC album- usually something with TCOL on it but not always
At least one choral album (usually one of several versions of "Miserere" that I own)
At least one Yes album (Relayer this time)
Usually I have a copy of (scream) with me but all of my copies have been given away or are bad.

SO I think I am all packed, bringing the huge suitcase as much as I hate to, but with the sleeping bag, well that's half the suitcase right there. Plus, I've got extra stuff in case others need it.

So I will be back in a week, stay tuned. I can't wait to turn on my light and get started.

Here's something to amuse readers while I am gone:

LAX
Well, my plane got in early so I have roughly 90 minutes before my bus picks me up. Then I have a 3 hour ride. I anticipate getting razzed about all kinds of stuff but I am glad I came early. My neck has a worrisome twinge so it will be good to be able to rest.

At MSP, there were repeated pages for Curt Golden to meet his party at baggage claim 10. Now just how many Curt Goldens are flying today?

I later verified that Curt was nowhere near MSP. Still thought it was funny.

Didn't sleep very well. Woke at 6 and took a shower. Sitting at 8. There are lots of people here already so I don't feel so bad about being here early. Frank was already there and he guided the sitting. He had us saying "I" to ourselves while breathing in, and "am" while breathing out. As this affirmation flowed through my body, I felt alive. I used this technique throughout the course whenever I began to get stressed.

At lunch, maybe dinner, Paul asked me if I was scared. No. Then he asked if I was nervous. A little. What was there to be scared of? I've already had my neck sliced open in the past year, flown after 9/11, fallen down the steps at home a few times. It must have been lunch. Yes.

A pretty good silence descended during dinner- impressive considering the number of new people.

First meeting with Robert- introductions, etc. I felt mine was lame and I seem to be having more difficulty connecting than I expected. This is making me feel anxious and sad.

Showed 3 of my cabin mates my favorite right hand exercise. This is a TonyG exercise that goes like this: 4-3-3-3-3-3-2-3-3-4-3-3-3-3-3-2

Dinner- TravisM and ?
Tom and Curt with a new 9/11 tune. Near tears knowing what Tom has been through. I do so love and respect them both.

Worked with DebraK today, she showed SandraBC and me a method of voice exercise called Verback. Although we only touched the surface, I can understand Debra's thoughts that this goes hand in hand with the Alexander work. It is very exciting to work for her. We tried to work up a small Appalacian melody, but Sandra couldn't remember all of it.

PM
By request, mentoring buddies work with right hands after dinner is cleaned up. Good work with all- Tony on releasing the side of my hand. Curt on placement. Paul really helped with my whole arm. This was really a defining moment for me when I realized that the right hand I brought to the course, which I thought looked pretty damned good, was for shit. It did mean a lot to me when Paul came and looked at it and said "I can tell Joley's been working with you" which told me that the hard work was at least apparent. At some point I asked Curt if he noticed an improvement since the last time he saw me in April and he told me that I didn't look like I had an alien strapped to my chest any more- I looked more comfortable with the guitar. Both of these comments told me that at least it was obvious I'd been working in the right direction.

Connection a bit better. Talked to Curt about it. During sitting, felt some dispair. (personal entry)

Hard work- learning to count, learning to circulate. Still feeling quite disconnected. Noticed that my reactions appear to disrupt my life. I expressed this during lunch, it was another big realization for me. I probably should have kept my mouth shut. It's true though, I react to things and everything around me stops, just like in a circulation. As Curt said, "everyone knows you're sorry" I don't need to announce it.

At some level, I feel very connected yet with the others on this course I feel sort of left out or perhaps left behind. (personal entry) At this point I had to remember SteveJ's advice to not take anything personally. It was good advice.

Work with Frank reveals much improvement in my head (releasing my head instead of holding it up) although right now I am quite tense and painful.

Good quality sitting

Meeting with Paul regarding playing in a relaxed manner. He says I look pretty good and I shouldn't worry that my technique isn't perfect.

I believe it was on this day that BillR removed what remained of my right hand and replaced it with one that was relaxed, but did not yet know how to play the guitar. I had the impression that he was uncomfortable holding my arm, trying to get me to relax. At one point he stopped, got a thoughtful look on his face, and said, "I don't think I've ever done this with a woman's hand before." That was interesting. Another watershed moment for me and I will have to work hard to be able to play like this, but in the long run I will be better off because the right hand I was using definitely had limitations. Work with Tom in the afternoon on working through mistakes. This work became one of the course mantras: "I've been making mistakes for years." How Tom realized that this was exactly what was needed at that time is beyond me. This was supposed to be an Alexander session but instead, it was a session with Tom with Frank and Sandra going around reminding us of our bodies. Tom gave us a fairly difficult piece to play and had us repeat the affirmation over and over. Then we tried to circulate it, a surefire way to get us to screw up. It worked. There were several "Alexander Emergencies". Great exercise. I love Tom and I can still remember the song.

30 minutes of silence at dinner. There was much negativity later regarding the purpose of this. ...from a semi-GC-experienced person. I have discovered my pointed stick for this course. Very pointy and later it got much pointier and I was forced to face it head on.

Another Hellboys performance at dinner - with encore. Amazing. I am so grateful Tom is here. This is the night Tom went up with S, who was very shy and terrified of speaking in front of people. She walked right up and looked over the audience and said "That's right. We're the Hellboys." Perfect. Priceless. Tom's a genius. Later, we told her what an honor this was. She did a great job.

Evening session with the mentoring buddies punctuated by two peformances by the Level 2 group. Ended in a group jam that lasted well over 30 minutes. The MBs walked out after about 5 and turned out the lights. Bert and Paul remained for a bit and played counterpoint. It was slightly tarnished by endless noodling which destroyed the inertial polyrhythm. The beat remained despite the disruption. The main theme nearly recovered. It wound down to a natural conclusion.

To me, it was a great experience marred by the selfishness of a few. The group, however, survived.

Later, Bert asked what we were playing and we told him our parts- maybe this will turn into a Trio song. The people on their end of the room said what they were playing was beautiful. Over and over after this happened, I kept thinking "offer no violence" and the story SteveJ had told me about something that happened in the League. There were some young kids on this course and I think that they were bored with the simple polyrhythm. For me this remains a defining moment in the course when the group went from a bunch of people with guitars to a bunch of guitarists playing together. It was a very rapid transformation and very moving. The people watching from outside were awestruck by several accounts. I am very curious what went on inside Curt's head when he discovered we were playing for so long.

I felt the need to call SteveJ this evening, to connect with him, and also it was Valentine's day so I thought it would be appropriate to call the most important person in my life at that moment. We talked for a good while and also Paul and Bert got to say hi- Paul thought I was talking to Kirk. During the entire course Steve was present with me in a variety of ways. We had a good talk and I wished him a good gig on Sunday. They had had a warm up that evening. As a further coincidence, he was just sitting down to work on his picking. Steve later told me that he was very touched that I had thought to call him from the course. He was a little concerned that we had been issued neither a performance challenge nor had personal meetings with Robert.

PERFORMANCE CHALLENGE!!

My group: Elisabeth, Mark, John, Matt, Timmy, and Don (and me).

We decided to call our 7 member group 'Win Instantly'. This was on the back of a box of fruit bars that Matt passed out to us. I was amazed that we could work together so well. I think I was being as negative as my pointed stick. A simple number punctuated with Matt's virtuoso playing. Matt is 19 and there on a waiver, being a second generation Crafty. His playing would not be and did not need to be denied. A poorly organized performance. Significant hazing. I decided at the last second to introduce the group and the song. I decided right there to call the song "Real Chill" which is what Matt had been saying all along about a variety of things. I don't think I got hit with anything but we couldn't hear shit, even the person next to us. We got cheered heartily though and so we reprised the second section of the song. The song starts out in 6 and after a pause in the middle switches to 4. The second part starts with a skippy little bass line I wrote that sounds like something Paul would play. I can't tell if the audience hated it or liked it. I guess it didn't matter.

After the performance, we went to the dining hall. They were hooting for an encore. We put down guitars and filed back into the circle. DebraK said that she had heard some beautiful things here and there and wondered if anyone felt compelled to share them. She passed a guitar, which circulated from person to person until it reached Matt. Someone told him to play something from "The Rock", a reference to the fact that Matt seems to get musical inspiration from playing while standing on the large boulders around the camp. He said that he didn't know if it would be honorable. We encouraged him. He was wonderful. He was then challenged to play it again at breakfast, blindfolded. He accepted.

Met w/Rob. Earlier in the day, Sandra told me that RobR wanted us to sing a song with him (us being some of the women, whoever was interested). I had very much wanted to prove to myself that I can sing in front of a bunch of musicians, but was afraid to express that aim. So I accepted. Rob came by the cabin and taught us the song.

I just realized that the above notation meant "Meeting with Robert". I had a personal meeting with Robert at 15:40. The subject of our conversation: How can I serve Music? At my age, I probably won't live long enough to become an accomplished musician (competent, maybe), yet this work is very important to me. I can't and won't relate everything that was said, but he did suggest this- I should make Music my hobby. He explained that to a British person a hobby is something different than to an American. This hobby should be a significant and important portion of my life. If I have a good job where I make money, I should not leave it to pursue Music. (in order to keep from really revealing all that we talked about, I took to answering inquiries with "Robert told me not to quit my day job") We talked about quality of practice and other ways that I might serve and deliver Music, most notably through my voice. We talked about the voice of women in GC. We had a very nice conversation, very pleasant but since I've talked to Robert before, I knew that he would be kind and gracious, so I wasn't scared going in.

Sang with Rob. ... at dinner, a piece called "Beat the Retreat." This song is about coming home and I think regret. It is a fairly sad piece but beautiful. Rob introduced us as "Rob's Angels" and we were, CathyO, SarahM, SandraBC and myself. My voice had been going downhill all week, starting with a sore throat on Monday night. By Saturday, I sounded like a frog and certainly had a serious case of bronchitis. I had a bad cough and a fever. Still, whenever we practiced, I managed to stay on tune, an octave lower than usual. I wasn't scared and I was happy that I would be peforming for Paul and Bert, who have given me so many wonderful performances.

Blast O' Crap. In the greenroom before the performance, we ran through our harmonies with Rob. Also there was "Blast O' Crap", one of the bands from the performance challenge. It is very hard to describe the dynamics of what led to them being there. They were rehearsing "Cha Cha with the Hellboys", which Tom had performed with S the other night. The guitar knocking was really obnoxious (on purpose and very appropriately). We were singing along with their wailing, and they asked us to join in, so it was decided that we would do so and that this would be the last song of the night (NOBODY follows the Hellboys). BOC went on, followed by us (the Crapettes), followed by Hellboys Tom and MarkB. We did the piece dancing, with Rob and Phil doing "walk like an Egyptian" moves across the floor in front of us. It was hilarious I'm sure. Unforgettable. And you really had to be there.

Other stuff I didn't include from above: one of the Blast O' Crap guys telling Robert "Not on your best day" when he suggested that perhaps they should perform at lunch that day (and rename their song from "Here Comes my Ass" to "Take a Long Sip of My Ass"). "My Sharona" making unexpected appearances (most notably, in the middle of "Bicycling to Afghanistan"- wow. Show offs!). DebraK performing "Stardust" with simple accompaniment by BillR. Such a clear and lovely voice. Elisabeth peforming Trapiche after practicing it over and over and over and over and Curt standing there beaming like a proud papa (she is his student and he wrote that song). Hearing BillR read the names of "absent Crafties" in the final meeting. I love his voice and it was haunting. I saved the list for Steve. Robert's standing ovation for Matt, the 19 year old, after he played at breakfast blindfolded. More silent applause for him later from Robert. I can imagine how he felt with all of this admiration. I so enjoyed his presence.

We were given the challenge to discharge one small thing superbly. I chose to bring my attention to my right hand and arm, remove the tension, and leave my right hand and wrist relaxed, prepared to do anything I asked of them.

Also left out from my diary: fun times at the restaurant in the spider in the middle of LAX on Sunday while waiting for our various flights out back to VA, NY, NC, GA.

Still feeling like crap. Most definitely bronchitis. Sleep, sleep, more sleep. A little work. Now, back to sleep. I hope all of those people who felt compelled to kiss me don't get this. I tried to stop them. I hope they didn't think I was being a cold fish. Tomorrow I must resume sitting and practice. Right now I'm going to BED.

Since Curt has quoted and linked me, I feel it is only fair to quote the entire email I sent to him (note: in emails I generally use only lower case because I'm terribly lazy. So here it is:

part of the miracle of performing the theme had to go to Igor. while he was being uptight and somewhat demanding, annoying many, it became crystal clear that this was important. many thought, well, ok, it's really easy. circulate until the cascade starts. then play 3, 5, 7, 3. then nothing until the circulation starts again, then cascade 3- 4 times. then circulate. then the chord/cutoff. uh huh. ok i don't need to practice this. Igor must think we're a bunch of idiots (how quickly we forget the first day).

but Igor made it a personal crusade. he made it feel like it was personal to him. but somewhere along the line, it became clear, this was the heart of Guitar Craft and had nothing to do with Igor or any of us. this is the Craftiest thing that would be done this week. i think some still didn't understand this, but many did click. for me it came in a very intense gaze from him, and right then i knew that not only must i participate, i must practice as much as possible. (you know how little i look people in the eyes but there was no escaping Igor's eyes)

you can't practice circulation all by yourself.

it was a hard, hard choice. Debra, or Igor. the Women in GC, or the Theme. perhaps someday i will get another chance to work with Debra, the chances are very good that will happen, and Debra will forgive me for skipping out. i may never get another chance to introduce a new Theme. and the Theme would not have forgiven me for not being there. perhaps if each one who played had not been there, Music would have stayed away. who can say?

and maybe i'm wrong but that's the take i have on the situation.

Good quality sitting, poor quality practice. Steve's got his work cut out for him Sunday. I will come bearing gifts, however.

Some discussion among the participants. Photos have been posted on the CGTrio list. I miss everyone already.

I do analyze my web logs. Who are these people?? Curt's faithful readers, now reading about my petty life. Welcome. Nothing exciting here. Go back to bed.

Forgot- I made an appointment with Glenna, my Alexander teacher.

Feeling some need to clarify... Igor was not being annoying. Learning the Theme served as a demonstration that practice is sometimes annoying, tedious, not fun. But it is necessary to bring things to life. When we play in a circulation, we are acting as one instrument. If I practice just the placement of my left pinky and no other finger, chances are very good that I will give a very poor performance. I didn't want anyone to think that I felt that our teacher was being annoying. He was being a good teacher, and he's a hero. The instrument played well, all of the parts were well practiced and comfortable. I learned a little about the nature of practice (or got a really good reminder, anyway) and that's a pretty valuable lesson. Thanks, Igor!

14:43
Watching the IPs fly by. Hi Dean!

12:00
Congrats to Sarah Hughes on a beautiful performance.
Sent in my money for AAD2002. Messages flying about a possible Virginia circle. Went to the doctor, no change, come back in 6 months, gee you seem better. Couldn't have been that fine week in CA could it? Formulated ideas about how to send more than good wishes to Seattle. Oh yeah and I did some work, too.

I did not intend for lots of different people to visit this site. My web traffic is over my monthly limit. I sent an email to Curt informing him that he is a turkey. However, I think this is good (the traffic, not Curt's turkeyness). I need to consider this type of exposure if I am going to go through the motions of diarizing publicly. My Mother reads this thing, you know. So does my Daddy.

13:49
Share the joy... here is Tim's course diary.

14:17
Who the hell works at "Polo Ralph Lauren" would be interested in anything I had to say? Reveal yourself, fashion person!

Howard's diary.
Howard took the care to transcribe Robert's response to ChrisF's heart rending question on the nature of refusal.

Better practice tonight, the right hand I was issued in California seems to be able to play a little more accurately. Not very fast yet, but man, it looks GOOD! I can't wait to show it to Steve! The Virginia circle is gaining momentum. Hailing all Virginia Crafties!

today it struck me. i wasn't performing. the performance challenge has become such a legend that it's really not what it was. or at least i think so. i wasn't performing, they were (the audience). the anticipation wasn't "how will my group do" but "how badly is our group going to get hazed?" that's right. it's become a hazing. it wasn't so much about getting up and playing an excellent piece of music, but more about what are they going to do to try and trip us up? what will be thrown? what will be said? who will be wearing a clown nose? it's a comedy performance by the audience.

i suppose it could be argued that this could be a challenge in its own right, but for me, i think it was almost detrimental. i didn't feel the horror or embarrassment of messing up. i couldn't hear myself play. at some point, the hazing (yes, hazing) was so loud and nasty that it didn't feel like anyone was trying to mess us up so much as to make as much noise as possible.

part of my problem with this is that the "performance" seemed to have no purpose, or the purpose was "let's all get in a room and the L2s and MBs are going to try to embarrass us." we knew what to expect and we got exactly what we expected. it was a downer for me. i wanted a challenge. it was easy for me to get up in the circle and play my easy little part, screw it up because we were inaudible, then go back and play it again. i'd been doing this all week for these same people, and got the reaction i expected, peanuts were thrown, derisive comments were made.

perhaps i am disappointed in myself. part of me feels like this was the low part of the course for me, and it should have been a triumph. the saddest part is that i didn't fight for what i wanted in the music, because i knew that was going to get shredded too, no matter how good it was.

fortunately, i have the experience of my first performance challenge (the NST weekend with the Muddy Footprints) to look back on. maybe i was already prepared as a result of that. but i do have to say that this particular experience lacked a lot for me. i know that others do not feel this way.

i guess i just didn't rise to the occasion and that makes me sad, but part of me felt that the occasion was not what it was purported to be. it was just a rite of passage. maybe useful in its own way, but empty for me.

23:40
After I went to the doctor the other day, I took a prescription for the antidepressant Wellbutrin to the pharmacy. I got a call later in the day saying that the insurance company was requiring pre-certification for me to get this drug. It would be about a week, however, if I wanted to pay for it ($127) I could have it right now. I chose to wait. I am beginning to regret that decision. The insurance company has a long history of antidepressant prescriptions, why all of a sudden they need to distinguish whether I'm depressed or trying to stop smoking is beyond me.

With the way I feel now I am beginning to see the necessity of this treatment. Had I had the full dosage of medication while I was on the course, I might have been present. As the levels of the drug diminished, so did my ability to interact and engage with others. Now, at this point, the lessons of the course are locked in another reality, somewhere between my fully medicated self and the self I have right now. I wonder if I will ever be able to unlock them.

I got some new exercises for both hands, working on speed, relaxation while playing at speed, and coordinating both hands. Worked on Eye of the Needle, my first piece of GC repertoire (I can play One of a Thousand Regrets, though).

Watched video of Potential Difference, amazing work in that band. Listened to Steve's concert from 2/17, beautiful work. He should be really proud. I am looking forward to seeing his quartet play. Left his house about 11pm.

Nearly fell asleep on the drive home. Still am very tired, even took a nap today. I think I still have bronchitis.

Wednesday I am going to Baltimore. Next week, Kansas City. After that, Nashua NH. Busy month again. Hope my guitar holds up. Considering buying a cheap used Ovation for travel. Is there such a thing? Decided for my own mental health I need to really work hard on making friends here in Raleigh. Still considering moving, though. But to where? Seattle, maybe. I can go anywhere. I need to work with Crafties.

Public address of my public whining about the performance challenge. I'm still not sure where I am on that issue. Curt has a point, but I still felt empty afterwards. Was it a performance?

I found a place that has an inflatable zafu. I have decided that sitting on the floor is the way for me to go. It is less uncomfortable than in the past, and it serves other purposes:
1. It makes the sitting period different from any other activity.
2. It informs all of the non-sitters in the house (everyone else) that I am doing something that should not be disturbed.
3. It is better for my back.

So, with the amount I travel, I figure an inflatable is the way to go for me.

Travel schedule for the next month:

2/27-3/1: Baltimore (driving)
3/4-3/8: Kansas City
3/11-3/15: Nashua, NH
3/27-3/29: Bismark, ND (tentative)

I am hoping to see Matt from the SB course and his father in Baltimore.

Lots of email around today about various things, Steve's missing diary entries, tabs for the new Theme, possible CGT bookings. And then the long drive.

Tomorrow at 8 there is a meeting, I really don't know what the purpose of this is, I guess this is a pep rally for my company. hoo rah. I have a lovely view of... the roof. A little bit of the baseball stadium. 2nd floor.

Missed sitting today. Must get up earlier. Discipline, Discipline, something I am lacking in my life.

Oh the disconnect. I just wanted to come up and play guitar. Several times during breaks, I did, for a total of about 2 hours work today. EOTN is coming along, slowly. Three things I want with this early attempt: 1) good tone, 2) correct alternate picking, 3) accurate timing.